Menu: German grub: Rouladen (meat wrapped in meat), Bayrische Käse Spätzle, red cabbage, peach Küchen, asparagus (not German)
Time: 12:00, noon
Sound: *pop* (first cork, ostensibly for the recipe about to start)
Action: prioritize (aka "drink")
Time: 1:00 p.m.
Sound: *pop* (second cork, this time REALLY for the recipe)
Action: whack weird slices of rump roast with hammer on formica countertop (the first step to any good German meal); dice four onions (the second step to any good German meal)
Time: 2:00
Sound: *pop* (third cork, mostly for us, some for recipe - just in case)
Action: roll onions and bacon into rump roast, roll into what should have been tidy packages (result: very sloppy bundles, held together with toothpicks; likely due to crappy butcher, not wine consumption)
Time: 3:00
Sound: *pop* AND *sizzle* (we're actually cooking now)
Action: whisk together flour, eggs, and milk (note: whisking is not easy when this becomes the consistency of rubber cement); brown another four onions; freeze Spätzle maker for optimal dough production; do not check Rouladen
Time: 4:00
Sound: *pop* (sister showed up - it's not just us drinking anymore)
Action: layer dough with onions and pounds of cheese; salivate over how amazing that sounds; wrap our one healthy aspect of the meal (asparagus) in cream cheese and croissant rolls; do not check Rouladen
Time: 4:30
Sound: *pop* (remember: there are now three of us)
Action: attempt the most difficult German dessert ever (fail miserably, despite its beautiful appearance as evidenced below); do not check Rouladen
Time: 5:00
Sound: *pop* *pop*
Smell: lots of onions and burning meat
Action: check Rouladen and find it is burnt; open another bottle of wine to forget about the burnt meat (oh, and to assist in its full recovery); thaw red cabbage that Grandma made five months ago (but that we will take credit for)
Time: 6:00
Sound: *pop* (but this time we're sitting down for dinner, so now it's actually okay)
Action: devour the meal that took us SIX HOURS to create - was it good? We don't know - do you see how much wine we consumed?
Quote: "Since when is Easter a binge-drinking holiday?"
Response: "We're starting a new tradition, Mom."
Date: April 5, 2010
Time: 6:30 a.m.
Sound: alarm clock
Action: none
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