We've Been Dethroned...

...as the queens of passive-aggressive behavior. Let us tell you some stories:

• As you know, we had not blogged for quite awhile. In that time period, we met several "interesting" individuals, most of whom we subsequently friended on a popular social networking site (perhaps you've heard of it, as it was the subject of an Academy Award nominated film), most of whom were unaware of our virtual authorship. On Friday, we tried to regain loyal readership by advertising our blog everywhere we possibly could, including the aforementioned site. On Saturday, one of these "new friends" proceeded to delete every single comment he had written on our page. Coincidence? We think not. The question remains: why not just delete us all together? Interestingly, due to us being respectful (hey, first time for everything) he had not yet been mentioned in our blog.

• As usual, this is best recalled via actual text messages:

1:16 a.m.: "What r u girls doing?"

1:16 a.m.: "Um, we're at home. We're so cool." (Dude, it's almost 2:00 in the morning. You're 30 years old. It's time to go home.)
2:44 a.m.: "Me and my buddy solvinh th problems of the world. What u doing?"
2:50 a.m.: "Solving the problems of sleeping by moving from the couch to the bed." (Perhaps the better solution would be to turn off the phone.)
2:51 a.m.: "Soft."
2:51 a.m.: "Uh..." (Not surprising.)
3:20 a.m.: "Dude*...I kill on gitar hero." ("Dude?" Really?")
3:39 a.m.: "Oh yeah?"
3:49 a.m.: "You got no chance...I'd fuck you up." (Right.)
4:07 a.m. "Y do u have cats?"
4:08 a.m. "Random. Why do you ask?"
4:08 a.m. "Bc I'm allergic to their damn dander." (What drunk person says "dander" at 4 a.m.?)
4:09 a.m. "There's medicine for that."
4:18 a.m. "I'd be dead if I took that shit."
4:19 a.m. "Abundance of alcohol & allergy meds don't exactly go togetjer."
4:30 a.m. "Were you planning on coming over or something?" (Do not read as hopeful: merely inquiring.)
4:34 a.m. "I'm a guitar hero all star."*
5:40 a.m. "I rock." (Indeed.)

In addition to dealing with passive-aggressive dudes, we had quite an eventful weekend. Remember how we said that we signed up for a marathon? Well, turns out that training for such an event is quite important. We decided to start yesterday. After a day of training (two miles), our muscles hurt, our toes hurt, and our brains hurt. We would already like to quit. Instead, we say this to 26.2 miles: BRING IT.

In order to rehydrate and use a coupon, we decided Sangria Saturday was a wonderful idea. Turns out that our $25 coupon covered the tip. Oops. We also decided that our workout for today would include margaritas (Skinnygirl, of course) at 5:00 in the afternoon.

Finally, today was spent running numerous errands. If you are our friends on a certain social networking site, you probably already know this due to our "checking in." It's not so cool when other people do it, huh? We hope you learned your lessons.

And now, we're going to go check in at the refrigerator. It's time for a refill.

*For all of you Guitar Hero All Stars who would like to expand their musical prowess, we would like to recommend a product: Rock Pedal. We would also like to now give a shout-out to the developer of said product, our college buddy.

We're Too Old For This Shit

You may wonder why it's taken us so long to get back to this blog, the one that has brought us such fame and fortune. (Soon, soon...) Well, we've been very busy - dating our hearts out, slaving to find material for you - YOU. And material have we found. Get ready.

We will start this blog post with the conversation starter we have received from numerous gentlemen (we use that term loosely) as of late:

"Hi."

And in keeping true to literary form, we will update you with tidbits of text messages we have received from various gentlemen over the last four months:

3:49 a.m. (after not having talked for six months) - "Hey, what up? Doing anything tonight?"

2:17 p.m. (after not having talked for ten months) - "I hope you're having a nice spring break. Hypothetically speaking, would you have hooked up with me had I asked?"

11:58 p.m. - "So what up? Out having fun tonight?" - "Hey, not out...in bed." - "Sounds like u need some compnay?!?!"

10:33 a.m. - "What color panties r u wearing?"

11:17 p.m. - "You're getting your Masters degree? Usually the girls I talk to are way dumber than me!" - "What do you do?" - "I just got out of jail."

Just so you know, we have some absolutely amazing material on deck, but we'd like to wait until the relationship falls completely through before we blog about it. It's going to be the best yet. Hang tight: this won't take long.

On another note, Spring Break 2011!!!!!!!!!!!

We decided to indulge our inner sorority girls (SPRING BREAK 2011!!!) and head to Key West for a week of fun in the sun. Some of us wore sun block, and others of us were lucky enough to find aloe:

After delivering emergency care, we headed to the Wannabe-Jersey-Shore-House: Fat Tuesday. Of course we bought the requisite obnoxious coozie: how else are we supposed to keep our Hurricanes cold?

Following that necessary pit-stop, we headed to another must-have of the trip: Rick's fountain. After all, we are a couple of classy ladies.

To complete the Duval Crawl, we hit up a popular place:

We came. We saw. We left. Interestingly, this happens to be one of our parents' favorite bars. Thankfully, they were not there...naked...sitting on bar stools.

P.S. In a fit of insanity, we signed up to run a marathon. 26.2 miles (but we're going to do 26.3). Stay tuned.

P.P.S. We'd like to give a shout-out to the #1 evil step-mommy dearest Gator fan: you know who you are, and we love you one million. (Just to clarify: this would not be the parent who frequents clothing-optional bars.)