On May 8th, 2011, we decided to celebrate not being moms by doing the most un-mom-like activity we could think of: drinking on a patio at 3 p.m. Interestingly, we were the only ones who had this idea, as the patio was empty. We decided to have one pitcher - yes, ONE pitcher - and then go home. However, our plans were thwarted when two gentlemen (we use that term loosely) arrived and pulled up their chairs.
At first, we were certain these guys were together; they appeared to be way more into each other than they were to us. We were wrong.
The next thing we knew, we were sitting around a bonfire in someone's backyard, in the middle of the city, at 3 a.m. on a Monday morning. Clearly, it was time to go home.
Guess what decision we made?
A week later - to our surprise - we received a phone call at 8 p.m. on a Friday. The caller - Randy - asked if we were at work.
On the topic of work, let us take a brief respite to tell you a little about Randy:
| Career | College degree but not using it: no big deal – in this economy, many people our age find jobs out of their intended field | Completely satisfied with career trajectory as a server at a local restaurant |
| Transportation | No car: lessening one’s carbon footprint is admirable | Three OWIs |
| Parenting | Child: as we get older, many people we date are fathers | Has not seen his daughter in three years, nor does he have means by which to financially support her (see above) |
| Legal | Iowa Courts Online: we were all young and crazy once | 2008?! |
| Health | Addiction: yes, it is a powerful thing, but there are ways to conquer it | Nothing like a year in prison to kick a meth habit |
| Housing | Living with a friend: great way to save money | An official lease would have shown up on his parole officer’s radar |
| Domestic Skills | Some parents don’t teach their children to cook | Survives on Taco Tuesdays, roommate’s leftovers, and copious amounts of Coors Light |
| Clothing | Jeans are expensive; besides, the worn look is in | Holes that show the entire butt cheek are not appropriate for the workplace, even with boxers underneath |
Apparently spotting all of these red flags unfurling in the wind is not enough: acting on them is key.
Before that, we needed a date for an upscale charity function, and despite the red flags, Randy was the perfect (okay, only) candidate.
Stay tuned for the date recap - and more on his roommate, Buck.
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